Humanity 101: International Dog Day
A while ago, I got the chance to enjoy the Bulgaria seaside with some of my gymnastic fellows. I have had a tattoo of my very first dog since I was nineteen where it can only be seen when I’m with my bikini. One of the fellows saw it and commented about it. He asked me what happened to her? I told him she ran away when I was eleven. He replied: “did she run away because people were trying to eat her?” With a hearty laugh.
Oh boy.
I laughed to cover up my surprise as it has been a long time since I encountered racist jokes like this. Very outdated. Should have upgraded your jokes to something about the virus. So at the very same night, I called him out. I told him this is not a very appropriate joke that he has made earlier. His argument was he didn’t have any bad intentions and he said it “because I know you can take a joke.”
What do we call this? Gaslighting.
Let me point out a few things on how we can improve our humanity here:
- Regardless of your intentions, this conversation isn’t about how you feel but instead how the other person feels.
- When a person pointed out something is hurtful, inappropriate, offensive to them, then it is. Why? Because with the different gender, race, class and socioeconomic background we have, you and I experience this world in a very different way. In other words, surprise surprise, there isn’t just one definition (which by default: your definition) of what is “appropriate.”
- What can we do in this situation? When somebody calls you out, listen. Attentively. It’s okay. We all made mistakes. Then we change our behaviors and call out to other people who are not respecting others' boundaries. Only through changed behaviors and using your own influence on other people around you can actually make a difference.
Thank you for attending my humanity 101. It is no one’s job to educate another person. Let us practice being a better human being and educate ourselves. And to answer the question: No, I think she ran away so we don’t have to see her dying. She was there when I first came to this world and she will always be there.
Every day is an Internation Dog Day
